an all around loon.

"Remembered for setting the world on fire... and escaping the clutches of her terrifying family... made friends with everybody and anybody... creating chaos and uproar where ever she went." -Factory Girl

Monday, February 1, 2010

who i am.

We have all had to do it, first day of english class you are assigned to write about yourself. Now most of us, including my self, write pretty much the same things- friends, shopping, beach, etc., but have you ever really thought about what truly defines you? Of course friends and all of the other things we already wrote about are part of it, but for me it goes beyond the surface. There are things about myself that are undefinable and can not be written in words, but there are some things that I would not usually write about that might provide some insight into who i really am.

The main things that I believe represent my life most accurately, are the experiences I have had so far in my life, and the details of my bedroom. Mostly everyone acts differently in certain situations, and I think that's part of what makes us who we are. All the different experiences I have had in my life are like little blurbs that represent me. For instance, going out and partying with my friends- sometimes I am the the one who is black out drunk, but in other times I am the one holding back my friend's hair. Also, there has been some experiences that have changed the way I look at life, like when I was sick or even when I was just visiting Alaska. It's experiences like those where you learn more about your own life.

As for the details of my bedroom wall, well I know that's an odd thing to define a person by, but just keep reading, I think you will get it. A person's bedroom is supposed to be the one place that truly belongs to you, and is your escape from the world. Therefore, it is reasonable to say you can tell a lot about a person just by stepping inside their room. My favorite part about my bedroom is definitely the walls.

Since I was a junior in high school I have been hanging up countless pictures and posters and writing my favorite quotes with permanent marker on my walls. These things are important to me because for every quote I wrote or every picture I taped, there was a meaning or feeling behind it. Now as a freshman in college, my walls are just about covered. Every morning when I wake up, I love to just lay in bed for a little bit and just look at my walls. I begin with where I first started as a junior, and move my eyes around my room until I reach the corner closest to my bed, which is filled with my most recent posts. I love to do this because I feel like I'm looking at a time line of my life. I read certain quotes or look at certain pictures and it brings back all of the memories and feelings of that time, and it also shows how I have grown as a person.

For example, when I look at the section of my wall from junior year I see a "namaste" sticker and I think of the store Faith's Aura and Red Bank and all the time I spent there; than I see the mosaic I made in art class and the photos I shot in photography, and even though they are not perfect- I love them because they represent my strength when I had when I was sick; moving into my senior year I notice there are a lot of love quotes, and I realize how much I have learned since then; and finally when my eyes come to my most recent corner, it makes me happy to read all the quotes about being young and enjoying the present.

But like I said, it is pretty much impossible to define yourself in words because there are some things about ourselves that we don't even know yet, but that's okay because life is for learning. :)

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